Monday, October 24, 2016

Synchronize Your Calendars!!!

Today is the birthday of the United Nations. My local Hallmark store was fresh out of UN birthday cards the last time I checked though they may still have some (or lots) of the Keepsake Ornaments. Why anyone thinks Star Trek, Tom and Jerry or Agent P have anything to do with a Christmas tree is beyond me but I'm not the one trying to sell stuff at an exorbitant markup for the holidays. Call before midnight tonight and we'll get your money faster!

Actually, if you want to drive into lower Manhattan today and double park in a fire lane, in honor of the UN's birthday I'm sure the NYPD are very understanding. Or not, especially not.

More importantly, though Secretary-General Designate Antonio Guterres may disagree, at least for me, is that today is my brother Kelly's birthday. Kelly, as many outside of his immediate family pretend to be only dimly aware of, was, briefly, the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, the Bishop of Rome. Okay, technically he was only almost the Pope but only because, as it turned out, not all bears do $hit in the woods all the time and on that technicality, the Curia decided otherwise. I hope they are still happy with Pope Francis ("I" sold separately).

And, it turns out, two of the electors may have been monkeys and their antipathy towards my brother knows no bounds. Or is it the other way? I get confused sometimes probably because I have seen Kelly only sporadically since returning to the USA a quarter of a century ago and--what is that you're humming? Not funny.

But despite the time and distance of separation, we are, I think, still close. We have the same slightly jaundiced view of the world; he is a Rangers devotee and I like Chuck Norris (as an example). We often think so much alike we complete one another's sentences, for instance when he says 'Tippecanoe' I say "a Native American falls out." Incredible, right? Do not try this at home, ladies and gentlemen, we are professional siblings.

So, later today, when you finally ransom your car back from the clutches of NYPD impound and find a place to watch cartoons and brace yourself for Bugs Bunny who, if he did not already exist when Kelly started to watch TV, he would've had to have inventedHappy Birthday!
-bill kenny

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