Is this a great nation or what? I'm not just typing that because I'm in love with our Body Politic, our projection of international power or how we've created a sporting industry that generates more money than the gross national products of most nations on earth (if they could play 2nd base for the Yankees, you know they would, right?)
Who invented TV dinners? Us. Drive-throughs? Us again. (What exactly did you think they meant with 'the old In-and-Out'? You are such a perv.) If it's got anything to do with eats, raise one super-sized hand and shout 'here!' It's estimated there are two billion people living on less than two dollars a day, but chances are none of us know any of them. Pass the drumstick and add that to my list of things I'm thankful for this season.
But it can go too far. Seriously. How lazy is too lazy? Not a rhetorical question, a real one based on this press release. Are we heading to here, and when we get there will it be Nirvana? Say, is that crusty bread I smell or Courtney Love (probably an acquired taste before actual fondness)?
C'mon--you can't dial the phone to call the pizza guys? Instead, you can press a button on your TiVo--is there another one to have someone come over and help eat it as well? Where does this end? How perverse are we in the family of nations that obesity is our #1 health problem? There are continents of people who wake up hungry every day and go to bed the same and we've made Jenny Craig the patron saint of low fat cheese danishes. And, competitive as we are in this culture, you know the cable guys and their DVRs are crying in burger joint take out sacks about this one.
These are the days of miracle and wonder/This is the long distance call.
The way the camera follows us in slo-mo/The way we look to us all.
The way we look to a distant constellation/That's dying in a corner of the sky.
These are the days of miracle and wonder/And don't cry baby, don't cry.
Are you hungry? Pass the remote.
-bill kenny
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