Randy Newman for Secretary of State!!

Have you had an opportunity to check out international press reaction to our 'little, old' Presidential election? It's touching in a way, it really is. There are, as you might imagine, as many sources and channels of responses as there are stars in the sky, ranging from the BBC and the International Herald Tribune to the nearly-giddy assessment by CNN.

In the universe of nations on this planet, the Land of the Round Doorknobs is the sun and everyone else isn't. No? How about a current events pop quiz: name the Prime Minister of Great Britain; describe the form of government in Qatar; or, the number of nations who recognize the Palestinian Authority (minus ten for the most visceral and obvious answer). HEY! Do not copy from your neighbor's web browser!

How'd you do? Yeah, don't feel bad. I have NO life so this kind of stuff is right up my street, but for the most part, we, as a nation, could care less about other countries. It's just how we are-we're insulated by our two oceans and share the continent with only two neighbors and are very devoted to staring at and into our own navels. Most of us don't often journey beyond our own states or our own regions, much less to someone else's country. And when we do, we tend to take our lifestyle and tastes with us (and the places we visit cater to that. Why else can you watch CNN in a hotel room in Karachi, Pakistan? Because the management are big Larry King fans?). Julian Cope may have said it best (I can't believe I'm writing that sentence!).

Everyone has MTV and drinks Coca-Cola. Pax Americana has been a pretty good deal for large portions of the globe, at least those of us here at the headquarters want to think so. And, in fairness, absinthe makes the heart grow Fonda (except, possibly at Ted Turner's house; talk about 'coming out of the closet'). Most of us don't know who the President of Mexico is, or the name of the Prime Minister of Canada, but we draw solace from the knowledge that so many citizens of these two nations, and so many others, know all about us (or think they do).

I lived in Germany during the latter part of the 1970's through the 80's and into the Nineties, actually I was in the US Air Force (sort of like being in the Scouts compared to other services, I've been told by those who served in those other services). West Germans got nervous (and angry) when Ronald Reagan was elected President. I can only imagine how East Germans felt.

It probably didn't mean much to folks in Frankfort, Kentucky when the US deployed SS-20 missiles across Western Europe, but take my word for it, it was noticed in Frankfurt am Main, or "Mainhatten" as its residents like to think of themselves, or "Bankfurt", which is what almost all other German tend to call it. There was a lot distress, unrest, and unhappiness at the perceived bellicose behavior of our President whose attitudes and actions may have helped precipitate the collapse of the Soviet Union. Not that there will ever be a stampede to say 'thanks' for that or for the almost incalculable amounts of talent and treasure we, as a nation, expended not just on Europe but across the globe.

It may well have been enlightened self-interest that prompted us to seek to raise the tides, but the American sea lifted the boats of many nations, who derived the benefits without ever paying their own tabs (and don't believe for a moment EuroDisney isn't a tourist destination or that Indonesian teens don't hang on for every episode of The Hills. It really does come down to WWLD? Although from what I've seen, it might better be asked as Who will .....? ).

So, I'm thrilled everyone around the world is happy with our choice for President, I voted for him and can share your bliss--but hand on my heart, unless you're moving here and becoming citizens, it doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you. And everyone's approval doesn't validate our decision, though if we've made a small purchase at your gift shops, there's always a chance our parking will be.
-bill kenny