Friday, March 2, 2018

So That's a Thing Now?

I consider myself fortunate to be living in the Information Age enabled by the convergence of all of its life-altering technology. I enjoy much of it and understand a sadly small percentage of even the most used of it but sometimes I smile when a headline reminds me that these are strange days indeed. 

Take this one for an example: "Jailed Instagram Model Wants to Trade Trump Secrets for Freedom" but don't stop at the headline (what would the Founders of the Republic make of the bawdiness that passes for political discourse nowadays) do a deep dive into the article, itself, as it appeared in my local daily newspaper on Thursday. I'll wait right here for you.

I want to ponder the notion of making a living from being an "Instagram model," and maybe someday I shall, but I keep falling over the sentence that starts the story, "A Belarusian woman jailed in Thailand for offering sex lessons without a work permit..." 

Is that even a thing? I mean, is this something just restricted to Thailand or might this also be elsewhere, too? A cop pulls you over and asks to see your work permit for the sex lesson going on in the backseat? "And in a school zone as well!" harrumphs my hypothetical policeman. Eight points on your license.  

Seriously?  I'm imagining back here in the Land of Steady Habits, standing in line at DMV for a sex lessons permit behind a guy in a trucker hat trying to register his dualie (no idea but maybe it has to do with the number of axles as opposed to Guns 'N' Roses), rifle rack sold separately, but that big "Defend the 2nd Amendment!" bumper sticker is included in the registration fee  .

I post pictures of places and objects I see on my walks to Instagram, and very little else and because I have yet to encounter anyone like Anastasia Vashukevich or anyone wearing lingerie (with or without permits) I don't have the ability to monetize or weaponize "followers" and leverage them to set myself up in a dacha on the Black Sea or even with a dachshund on the Bodensee.

I'm glad the day we'll have to explain to our grandchildren and their children wtf we were doing at the turn of the last century will happen at some point beyond my warrantied date because I'm not sure how we tell them we had the talent and technology to alleviate if not eliminate much of what will, I fear, still torment and bedevil them (war, violence, intolerance, hunger, drug abuse, fanaticism of all shapes and sizes, among others) and instead, used it to send one another cat pictures and to look at what Ana/Kim/Ashley/Sara were wearing as a lip gloss! Squee!
-bill kenny    

 

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