Sunday, March 29, 2020

Cannot Wear a Big Foam Finger

Last weekend, I watched ESPN re-air the 2018 European TramDriving Championships from Brussels, Belgium. Eighteen European cities competed and so engrossed was I by a skills competitions that included who could stop closest to the orange cones and something called Tram Bowling which required a tram to run into a LARGE rubber ball that would then be propelled farther down the tracks into a set of extremely TALL bowling pins, that I'm not sure who won. Seriously. 

My eyes glazed over, sort of, while it was going on. I do remember the last place team was from Berlin, Germany, who had a terribly low score in comparison to everyone and everywhere else but who would be hosting the next championship, though since it's 2020, I'm guessing they already did host it and I'm not sure how to find out who won. It's the uncertainty that makes life so hard to live sometimes...

The day before I had watched from Las Vegas, Nevada, the 12th Annual Sign-Spinning Championships (I don't know what actual year this was held; I'm not convinced it actually matters, to be honest). I cannot imagine what the merchandise concessions for either of these competitions would look like but I have a vivid imagination that I may not be able to control. Both of these events were on, of course, because of the dearth of live actual sports because of precautions taken to mitigate the spread of the COVID-19 virus. 

And also for the never uttered reason that ESPN's mainstay of non-sports competitions, the Scripps National Spelling Bee has been suspended. I think it would have been nice to have had the kids spelling the words on the signs that were being spun, but that was not to be.

But as Rick tells Ilsa, 'we'll always have Paris,' and aggies, clearies, and mibs as well it seems. In this Plague Year, why not a competitive marbles league? Suspect it will pop up soon enough on ESPN but in the meantime, you can enjoy it here. I dare you. These are truly the days of miracle and wonder, though in my case the emphasis is heavily on the latter. 
-bill kenny

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