Thursday, May 21, 2020

Your Team Sucks, Literally

It takes balls to play what we call soccer and the rest of the world calls football. And until social distancing measures put in place by various nations' football associations, it also took fans in the stands. 

As a devotee of the DFB, I very much looked forward to the return of matches this past weekend though I did have some adjustments to make as the games are played 'behind closed doors' (that is, with no fans in the stands). There are however public address announcers, whose form and function in the current configuration is a puzzlement to me though I admire what I assume is the strength of the stadium announcers' union.

I smiled listening to the ambient sound of play from the pitch because having spent some years in Germany I can understand a great deal of what's being exchanged between the various players and while it may get lost in the sauce for a lot of American viewers, the audio certainly improves my enjoyment especially when the comments after a hard tackle, wedding or otherwise, are something more than 'nice job' as they often are. 

It was strange to watch Borussia Dortmund host FC Schalke on Saturday before about 82,000 empty seats because Iduna Stadium is very much the 12th man for the Dortmund side. Not that they needed a lot of help against an opponent who played as if they thought the match was actually on Sunday (and were listless and lifeless and shouldn't be surprised to find themselves in the conversation about teams in danger of being relegated (demoted) to the Second Division).

I guess for the South Korean Football Federation, the idea of empty stands was a little too daunting and while I admire their unique solution, it seems in this case, with all due respect to President Plumpy, the cure may be worse than the problem. Bigly.
-bill kenny


1 comment:

Adam Kenny said...

Tough to be the fella tasked with ordering thousands of sex dolls when his wife sees this month's credit card bill. "Honey, they're not for personal use! It's for work!"

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