I am no longer stuttering or stumbling over the YeeHawdists of Vanilla Isis' attempted insurrection of 6 January because I've rubbed enough elbows with the Children of the Corn right here where I live a state considered just about as blue as any in the nation.
The Gadsden Flag, the bumper stickers that boast of ignorance and hate, none of that did NOT exist prior to 6 January when the Arsonist-in-Chief tried to set it all ablaze. The surprise of those who chose to NOT see it before that date is what keeps tripping me up, and I don't get out much anymore.
This is from ELEVEN YEARS AGO and I cannot pretend to have an IQ too much beyond an average room temperature and here I am back in the day, channeling Nostradamus I guess except I called it:
That's Why I Love Mankind
Dante called it The Divine Comedy though he wouldn't have been laughing at what I said when I first heard about the latest looners ensnared by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (and how in the heck did we decide those three went together like faith, hope, and charity, or the Kardashians?).
Just what we needed since we've had had so little for at least the last twenty centuries, more proof that we are God's special creatures, the Lord's punchline, assuming He takes us seriously as we dare to wonder if He exists (we might never see Him because of who we are, not because of who He is).
And you thought all we needed to be on guard against were Al and Eunice Kider, Auntie Fa, and Tommy and the Taliban. What do you think this is? A Children's Crusade at Chuck E. Cheeses? Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for a nearly seamless blend of anti-government, militant Christians who call themselves Hutaree. For just a moment when I heard the name I flashed on F Troop but that was the Hekawi.
The NY Times account quotes their website (and who doesn't have one these days) “Jesus wanted us to be ready to defend ourselves using the sword and stay alive using equipment.”
I have to wonder if this is the same Jesus who helps professional basketball players make free throws or assists baseball pitchers in achieving strike-outs. Where does He find the time for ALL this other activity? Not only are the NBA playoffs practically just around the corner but baseball season just started!
As a child of the Sixties, I often wondered why the Zig-Zag rolling papers people didn't make a bigger deal out of the physical resemblance of their guy to the Son of God, but I'd like to think it had something to do with respect for the purity of others' beliefs.
So now I have to wonder where these hockey pucks with hair found their divine inspiration and how much more of this My God Is Bigger than Your God most of us who travel on this Big Blue Marble will have to put up before someone someplace finds the biblical passage that talks about Blessed are the Reloaders and we start collecting paving stones as we search for those without sin.
It's a cinch we won't find any. What's that bumper sticker? "Lord Deliver me from Your Followers " Amen. -bill kenny
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