Friday, July 21, 2023

Stickers or Snickers

I'm not sure why we still call them 'bumper stickers' as most cars don't actually have metal bumpers anymore but some kind of energy absorbing something or other that's the same color as the car body, besides most of us put the stickers on the rear or side windows.

It intrigues me that when you apply a bumper sticker to an actual bumper you almost never get all of it off and the residue and remainder take on a life of its own. Maybe that's why we're all so reluctant to try to remove them whether our candidate won or lost. But the folks who drive around with the winner still on a sticker on their car YEARS afterward flat-out annoy me. 

I mean, seriously. Get over it, you won. Heck, WE all won. Nothing to see here, move along. As much as I detest poor losers, I abhor poor winners even more.

Unless the bumper sticker is holding the Volvo bio-diesel station wagon together as your Birkenstock-shod gas pedal foot makes sure you never break the speed limit, get that election-year artifact off the car. It's like having a Vote McKinley campaign button on your straw boater as you dance the black bottom. That 70's Show was the nineteen seventies, after all, and they had the decency to stop once they were no longer funny (eventually).

Didn't you get the memo on this stuff? More on point, didn't you read it?
Do we actually need Department of Transportation and Highway Safety rules banning trite and no longer necessary or relevant adhesive messages? Does that mean if your child has children of her/his own, it's time for the "My Child Is an Honor Student at Ridgemont Elementary School" to come off the car? What do you think? 

And no, State of Washington drivers, you can't leave the "Fifty Four Forty or Fight" stickers on your back windows. But nice try.
-bill kenny

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