If you stopped by today to see if I was celebrating the birthday of the United Nations, you are most definitely in a less-than-correct place. Actually, if you want to drive into lower Manhattan today and double park in a fire lane, in honor of the UN's birthday I'm sure the NYPD is very understanding. Or not, (more likely not). Sorry natal anniversaries are happening a little closer to home in this case.
Happy Birthday to my brother Kelly whom you nearly knew a few years ago as His Holiness Pope Kelly I (and only, I'm guessing). I’m not sure ‘better luck next time’ is appropriate unless I say it in Latin, more or less ‘iterum felicius!’ Yes, I’m one of the reasons why Holy Mother Church went to the English language mass.
Technically, he was almost the Pope but only because, as it turned out, not all bears do $hit in the woods all the time, and because of that technicality, the Curia decided otherwise. I hope they are still happy with Pope Francis ("I" sold separately).
It turns out, that two of the electors may have been monkeys and their antipathy towards my brother knows no bounds. Or is it the other way? I get confused sometimes probably because I have seen Kelly only sporadically since returning to the USA over thirty-two years ago, and yes, some of my other siblings are jealous of his good fortune why are you asking?
But despite the time and distance of separation, we are, I think, still close in critical respects. We have the same slightly jaundiced view of the world; he is a Rangers devotee and I like Chuck Norris (as an example). I could go on but why, right?
So, later today, when you finally ransom your car back from the clutches of NYPD impound and find a place to watch cartoons and brace yourself for Bugs Bunny who, if he did not already exist when Kelly started to watch TV, would've had to have been invented. Happy Birthday!
-bill kenny
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