In much the way the earth orbits the sun, I'm returning to a place and state I've been before. A little older, considerably more beaten and very nearly broken, and yet resolutely unbowed. Just stubborn I think.
Somewhere on the way to here, I lost my way. Not as in shuffled off the beaten path and got lost, but defiantly chose to not do as those who came before me had chosen for generations. Too stiff-necked to this day to acknowledge my failings and weaknesses, I'm often in doubt but never in error. At least in my own mind.
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Today marks the beginning of a season of preparation; for the devout, it is for the coming of the Saviour. I've never been quite sure what it is people like me are doing or supposed to do. I miss the comfort of the ritual and the sense of shared belonging. I fill up my hollow days with noise to distract me from hearing the approaching roar.
I've never been clear if I am to look to the future with anticipation or fear.
I do understand I'll find out soon enough and sooner than planned.
-bill kenny
-bill kenny
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