Six Weeks Can Be a Long Time

I never need to use GPS where I live because I never get lost. Everybody tells me where to go. And yet, here I am today almost lost in explaining what has happened to get us to this point. You're right, I should start at the beginning....when all there was was darkness and a void, though perhaps that's farther back than necessary.

I've mentioned I have slacker on my smartphone, or as it likes to phrase it, I am the 'bi-pedal attachment that comes with the device holster.' I enjoy slacker a great deal and use it every morning as I listen to a variety of music, known and unknown (to me) as I get my power-walk on in the morning hours in the gym not far from where I work (and, yes, I do walk to the gym rather than drive just in case God is really keeping track of all the hypocrites).

Yesterday, I was listening to a station built around the music of Elliot Smith, of whom I am inordinately fond. I don't think you can listen to songs like Waltz #2 or Baby Britain or--don't get me started on his catalog-often enough. It's a cliche to say 'left too soon' but he did.

Anyway, a song I hadn't heard before really hooked me, "Wouldn't Mama Be Proud?" But in the course of looking for that song, I got the title wrong which makes finding it a LOT harder (remember when you'd ask dad how to spell a word and he'd tell you to 'look it up in the dictionary', seemingly unaware of the irony of his own suggestion? And then when you grew up you went 'waitaminit!') but that's still NOT the whole story.

The song the search bot found had nothing to do with Elliot Smith and has already slipped my mind. But on the right hand side of the page, ready to leap into the center of the screen with the click of a mouse, were other titles of songs that also had nothing to do with Elliot Smith.

Which brings us thisclose to the end for today, Pilgrim, right after you make doubly sure before clicking on the last link that no children under the age of (I don't know) thirty (?) are anywhere near a speaker. Consider that your warning (which means I don't want to get any snotty notes, okay?). I haven't decided which would be worse-that they've never heard any of the words in the song, or that they have.

If it were the latter, you might want to call Parents Magazine and see if they're interested in doing a story. Or they might just tell you to keep it under your hat, or words to that effect.

-bill kenny