Saturday, March 21, 2015

A Little Early for the Third Sunday in June

It takes all kinds to make a world and you and I are the proof but some of us prove to be more than anyone bargained for, especially when splashed across a headline-spangled story. Meet Dorian Harper a real gentleman and a scholar-just not a heckuva designated care giver, if this news story is to be believed.

I somehow had the feeling after reading the dispatch the whole story should be sponsored by a grant from the Perdue Chicken Foundation or Something. And, I’ll bet like me, you’re itching to know exactly what the point and purpose of that deceased chicken was. 

Without giving too much away about my own upbringing in the swamps of Jersey, I’m wondering if perhaps Dorian was making an attempt to discipline the mother-clucker by securing it to the child. Stranger things have been known to happen.

I should also note in the finest traditions of American jurisprudence Dorian's lady love, Wanda Larson, who is both the eleven year old’s legal guardian AND Supervisor of the Department of Human Services for the county where the offences are alleged to have occurred (the irony of the latter portion of that sentence fragment is so thick I’m tempted to eat it with a fork, but will use my spoon because I don’t want to miss a drop) ia of course presumed to be innocent (which in this case may be half a world away from not guilty). That ship has sailed for Captain Dorian himself..

If the Hallmark Fathers’ Day card folks aren’t on line one right now working out the details of the endorsement deal with Dorian, it’s only because they haven’t yet secured the photo rights to the San Diego Super Chicken to use on the front of the card.

Maybe they could just use a picture of a KFC Big Bucket, sort of a "before" and "after" kind of  presentation?         
-bill kenny

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