Tuesday, May 12, 2015

It's So Easy When You Know the Rules

As the ESPN sports guys droned on, I kept waiting for Mighty Manfred the Wonder Dog to show up and rescue Tom Terrific. Nope. No chance-nailed for an accumulation of indiscretions, Tom Brady and his bunch a/k/a New England Patriots got spanked by the National Football League for getting caught looking guilty of bending the rules of professional football. and all this time I thought the NFL was like Fight Club.

As Richard Petty supposedly said, "if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying" and these indeed are times to try the souls of the staunchest of fans who brave truly ludicrous weather in New England every late fall into the winter and who spend far too much money on stadium seats and overpriced food and beverages and root passionately for Robert Kraft's Kreatures.

Dear African refugees adrift in the Mediterranean, weary Ukrainians engaged in a national fratricide that Vlad the Impaler helped stoke, refugees in a dozen or more war-torn nations from Syria to Yemen and all points in between.

You'll have to forgive us while we mull the merit/injustice of the discipline meted out to a professional sporting concern probably worth more on the open market than a half dozen or more of your sad-sack little countries' gross national product.

We on whom God's grace has been shed in such profuse amounts have weighty concerns to ponder and targeted audiences to pander to, and we can do both simultaneously and never waste a moment of our front temporal lobe on you and your wrecked, ravaged and ruined lives. It's nothing personal, it's business. Really big business. You wouldn't understand, now and should you survive to see another dawn, or tomorrow.

Bottom line to all the discipline: four more weeks of staying home with Gisele B√ľndchen. Yeah, It's good to be a gangsta, or at least be treated like one.
-bill kenny

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