There Are Black Friday Blogs?

I was going to get up before I went to bed and write something, just in case you thought I might do that in honor of today being Black Friday in US retail, and then I remembered that my Mom raised crazy children but not stupid ones. 

I was impressed watching all the TV commercials yesterday and reading the papers with all the inserts (the newspapers actually looked like the Sunday newspapers in terms of thickness, didn't they?) at the early hours so many stores had for today. And the rewards so many offered for sleep deprivation.

But what if (just supposin’) your city hall opened at 4 A.M. and gave you a 25% discount on overdue/past-due property taxes; would you line up the way you stood out in front of Best Buy/Big Box Joint this morning to get one of the twenty five-dimensional TVs they had for under $500? 

Or, what if the state DMV office offered a driver's license or a vehicle registration for half-off for the first one hundred folks through the door when they opened at five? Heck with that, what if DMV just let you pick the photo for the license instead of keeping it a secret until after it's been laminated? My photo ALWAYS looks like a raccoon having a seizure because of the black rings under my eyes and how their camera is designed to always catch me in mid-blink. 

Finally, what if the IRS gave you a 10% discount on your earned income credit for stopping in between 4 and 6 AM. Would the line in front of their building look like that hungry mob circling the Target store trying to score a Wii console or some of those size 44 Triple-E jump boots?

You ponder all of that. I'm heading out to church because if I get there before 5 AM they have a twofer on plenary indulgences and I need all the indulging I can get. Retail therapy and redemption, in paper or plastic.

-bill kenny