Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Almost as Fast as My Dry Cleaner

I have a wonderful dry cleaner not too far from where I live who is very reasonable and very, very efficient when it comes to turnaround. Laundry in by Thursday at 11 AM, can be picked up that same afternoon after four. [Insert low whistle of appreciation]

Your trousers come back to you with the same number of legs they started with, your dress shirts have two arms and all the buttons and breast pocket one could ever hope for. And everything comes the way you asked for it: no starch please, then no starch is what you get. Pressed and on a hanger rather than folded, no sooner asked than done. 

What could be faster? The Donald J. Trump Ingrate Shredder and Abuse-o-Matic 500. It slices, and dices, and entices egomaniacal foul-mouthed half-wits from Long Island among other locales to take jobs for which they have neither the training nor the aptitude so that he can get someone else to say "You're Fired." And they are!

The latest example of the Orange Wizard's ineptitude at hiring people, the vaporization of his Director of Communications, Anthony Scaramucci, who, as I understand it, didn't actually start in his suddenly now-former job until two weeks from today, August 15th. I must tip my hat to the Master: so much for in by eleven and back by four.

"Mooch" left so fast he knocked himself down coming in going out. Not that he didn't leave a legacy that lingers, sort of like a bad smell the morning after in a room whose deposit you won't be getting back. And for those who refuse to be as small-minded and black-hearted as I, please allow me to luxuriate in all of this after sharing that at 8:28 Monday morning #PetulantPantload45 tweeted "Highest Stock Market EVER, best economic numbers in years, unemployment lowest in 17 years, wages raising, border secure, S.C.: No WH chaos!"

It's "wages rising," btw, oh he of wonderful and all the best words but what was that last item you tweeted? HAHAHA!!! I guess it all comes down to how you define chaos and if anyone should know, it'd be you.

And there it is, no chaos, just fact. In eleven days, from Mooch to Mook. It gets a little confusing, DJT, when you can't tell the jamokes without a score card (and who can read Cyrillic lettering anyway), but it's entertaining and I can certainly see why game shows are so popular. Still doesn't explain you.
-bill kenny

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