I’m an amateur carnivore-that is to say, I eat meat but
don’t get paid for it. I’m thinking of those guys on the cable niche stations who are willing to eat
the most amazing crap stuff ever televised (until the next show). I believe in my entire life, I’ve not (yet)
known a vegan but have known a vegetarian, though I didn’t like his rationale
for his lifestyle.
It wasn’t so much that he didn’t like to eat meat, I believe, but that
he hated plants. I used to think of him and smile while emptying the grass clippings
bag on my lawnmower, 'add oil and vinegar; serves six!'. I’m not nearly as brilliant and brazen when he’s around but
give me half a world of separation and I’m fearless.
I thought about this whole Meat the Beatles when I came across this story on pink slime. You’re probably wondering what
kind of marketing/ manufacturing people call something by that name. It is, I
submit, a vast improvement over its original name, ammonium hydroxide. If
you’re someone who has always been disquieted by Red
Dye #40 (any relation to WD-40?),
this is close to one of those ‘sell my clothes, I’m already in heaven’ moments.
I guess Soylent
Green had been trademarked.
There’s a subplot deep inside Joseph
Heller’s Catch-22 where Yossarian tells Milo Minderbinder
about Corporal Snark putting mashed up bars of GI soap in the sweet potatoes at
the chow hall to prove the men are
Philistines who couldn’t tell the difference and Minderbinder assumes they most
certainly could only to learn from Yossarian such was not the case at all. Funny how life imitates art.
Mom used to say ‘don’t ask the question if you can’t stand
the answer’ and the more you wonder and worry about pink slime, the more
reasons you discover you ain’t heard nothing yet. We call them “Kitchen Secrets” for a reason
and if you think otherwise, try a heaping helping of this and take as many napkins as you’d
like. You’ll probably need more. Seems to add a whole new dimension to ‘you are what you eat’.
-bill kenny
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