Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Parable of the Mixed Metaphor

This was going to be about Groundhog’s Day and may well yet end up going there. But I have to go back to yesterday to do that, so if you don’t appreciate history go play Angry Birds or something for two shakes of a lamb’s tale.

I assumed it would be transparent to everyone who stopped by yesterday that I was offering my version of ‘cast your bread upon the water’ or ‘Mrs. Paul ain’t the only one who knows about loaves and fishsticks.’ (for the record, mein schatz, es war fisch sticks nicht was anderes, okay? ), but I forget the Feast  of the Assumption is 15 August and any other day you do so, you’re doing it at your own peril.

I had way too many phone calls and email from people concerned about ‘your car’ and, in some instances slightly hurt that I hadn’t asked for their help at that time. Again as I kept explaining, with diminishing results yesterday: there was nothing wrong with my car. I was attempting to say something entirely different. If you didn’t see my point, it’s because I was wearing my ski-cap (in honor of the Winter X Games, dude) and for that I apologize. 

I appreciated the thoughtfulness of the various offers of assistance, to include the one for a ride which came via email von den alten heimat. I guess we would have had to keep the windows rolled up when we hit the Pond. Glad I gave up smoking and thrilled you left the dog at home (she calls shotgun all the time).

So that’s out of the way, okay? When a family member  calls me before she goes to work to make sure ‘none of this really happened’ I need to sign up for the Bravo TV show, “Bowling for Participles with the Real English Teachers of the Carrier Clinic.’ While I’m neatening up loose ends, there’s no hard feelings or confusion left over from Buzz Lightyear and Newt Gingrich? Poor Ralph. Talk about a target rich environment. Who called shotgun in the rover? (Three guesses and the first two don’t count.).

In honor of another nearly mythical character today we have a custom to honor a belief no one actually shares, Punxsutawney Phil.  I have a very enlightened attitude on his relationship to winter-as long as whatever has created our current situation continues, he can see Ken Howard if he’d like. (Make it Ron; Hell, a herd of Winnebagos-we’re givin’ ‘em away.) As for me, I’m thankful for the pretext this gives me to revisit a favorite tune. Very thankful. Amazing.   
-bill kenny

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