Jesus Is My Wingman

I don't remember what I was watching the other day on television when during the 'station break' up popped a commercial for christianmingle.com adding a whole new meaning to 'comes in the name of the lord.' The Imp of the Perverse in me wants to say it was during Strange Sex, but it wasn't (and now I am going to hell). For the record, I meant the TLC program title not a generic descriptive, perv.

There are so many online services now I have to wonder if our whole modern world is an inherently hostile environment for love and companionship. From the number of us I've seen by ourselves, I fear the answer may well be 'yes.' We just had Valentine's Day but how many of us shared any part of that day with the one we love and how many of the rest just settled?

I mock but find sad the hopeful, but still a bit defeated, names so many of the online dating services use. I do admire them for trying but there's a bit of wistfulness to ourtime, or match or eharmony. If we really wanted truth, we'd head for hotmonkeylove.com or suxthechromeoffatrailerhitch.net and once we get those new specialized domain names up and running I'm sure they'll be joining us. Just not yet, P. F. Sloan.

We're seven billion souls afloat in the same ocean and each of us is alone in a boat of our creation. Yes, we're rescued but just as yes, we're marooned. People like me believe if you drill a second hole in the ship, you can use it to let the water out. That may be why we spend a lot more time alone than we care to measure. I'm thinking we're better off that way.

From what I can figure out all the on-line services have 'apps' for smart phones because that's the way we roll here in the Brave New World. Somewhere, an analytical aggregator is collecting all this data, in theory to facilitate third parties selling us goods and services we've already indicated a desire to purchase. But with the divorce rate at historic highs and the number of relationships imploding on reality TV daily, you have to wonder if the computers gathering this data, in a tragic misapplication of artificial intelligence, won't become so sad about the humans they shepherd that they design themselves prosthetic arms, install them to pull their own plugs out of the wall and commit suicide.  
-bill kenny