Friday, July 12, 2013

I Can See the End of the World from Here

I have been accused of having a fevered and at times twisted imagination. Without offering a plea one way or the other, let me note that we can encounter real life situations so surreal, it's all you can do to remember The Bard of Stratford-on-Avon, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." And I was never even a fan of CSI: Miami

I also would never be confused with a philosophic man though I've discovered that from a distance jaded looks surprisingly similar to thoughtful especially to people who have no idea what they are looking at. Guess how far from the Madding Crowd I never wander. I never even knew Frank and Joe had a brother, much less a writer; he could've really helped himself out, career-wise. 

I should have a less snarky attitude and even lesser prurient interest in this possibly-precedent setting legal case except, it's just so tawdry (without the Hepburn). 

This is the kind of court case you know the bailiff just wants to power wash the entire chamber after a day of deliberations. And being a life long (so far) resident of the Northeast, you know I'm looking at the slugline on the story and going "Kentucky." Except that attitude is both elitist and in this case, fehl am platz. 

Sarah Jones makes me feel better about my life, no matter how bad it is and no matter who I am. She needs to be fitted for a bright orange blazer with lettering visible from space, "I Am A Cautionary Tale." From what I've read she gets it from her mother, though the account also makes it clear she gets it any way she can. 

Pardon my callousness and casual contempt but being raised by Cheryl Jones sounds like a childhood Romulus and Remus might better understand. No one we know wants to keep up with these Jones' and even though I've never met any of the framers of the Constitution, I'm pretty sure this was never envisioned by any of them to be a test of the First Amendment-not even among those who had a reputation for hitting the opium (yeah, TJ, takin' 'bout chew). 

Regardless of how the jurists decide, I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing the happy couple (or however many are in the relationship such as it is this week) all the best and hope I can be forgiven for looking forward to the day when Sarah's son or daughter provides us with as much mirth and merriment as Mommy Dearest. Because with a genetic inheritance like this, it absolutely has to happen. 
-bill kenny

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