I don't think the FBI which tracks (nearly) every kind of crime statistic either of us could ever imagine has a lot of data on assaults with ceramic squirrels. Perhaps Helen Williams is fortunate and this is a first. It's certainly a first for me (and my brother the almost-Pope [or should that be Almost-Pope]?). In any event. let's hear it for pioneer women!
I'd offer to toast her singularly sensational accomplishment with a bubbly beverage of water, barley, and hops but as I read the wire story that's sort of how she wound up in this jam in the first place. I suspect she sees no need to borrow (more) trouble unless it's a set of those pink flamingos some of us like to keep on the lawn.
I wonder if Boris and Natasha might have received a better reception had they dropped in on Helen. Probably not as warm a welcome as Rocket J. Himself would have received, goggles and all, but at least they could have pronounced his name without laughing. Or beer.
-bill kenny
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