Tall Tales

Family business first: Happy Birthday to my brother Kelly whom you nearly knew as His Holiness Pope Kelly I. I’m not sure ‘better luck next time’ is appropriate unless I say it in Latin, more or less ‘iterum felicius!’ Yes, I’m one of the reasons why Holy Mother Church went to the English language mass. 

Meanwhile. Unless for some reason you were to receive correspondence from me while I was at work you would have no way of knowing how much taller I have become. At some point in the past when someone from our supply department asked me, I said “yes, please” to an offer of a Varidesk  ProPlus 36 thing. You can read about it here. 

Their website says it’s a standing desk (actually, in my opinion, all desks are standing desks; what they mean in this case is that I am standing) and that the ProPlus 36 is “Our Best-Selling Model.” Anyone who has a budget for that many capital letters in the middle of their web page must be telling the truth.

It was delivered at the start of the week. I have less than no mechanical aptitude.

I stand outside a room and watch the door open so I can know whether to push or pull, otherwise I’m screwed. I feared the assembly of such a contraption would be beyond my abilities and took solace in imagining how much fun I would have playing with the box while others accomplished the “some assembly required” part of  the process. 

But no assembly was required, which was just as well as the box is very skinny and impossible to make into any kind of serious fort at all, which is too bad because my office is on the fifth floor of a five-story with two windows giving me a spectacular tactical advantage.

It was a struggle (everything with me is) but I got it to sit on my previous ‘you have a chair to sit in behind your desk’ desk and got used to standing while working on my computer. 

It wasn’t until I had  watched their video that I realized the desk afforded multiple heights and an expanded universe of choices open to me as I now accomplish all of my work to a standing ovation, my own.

I’m told standing is good exercise, and I certainly hope so, for the sake of my shoes. As for me, when someone next plays the National Anthem, I’m already to face the flag and the music. Please join me by removing your hat and placing your right hand over your mouth.

-bill kenny