Just Boring Stories to Tell....

When I was a kid and rode dinosaurs to school uphill in the snow both ways for six miles, "Baseball" had two All-Star Games every season and the players were voted by the guys who played the games. We didn't have to call baseball "Major League Baseball," everyone knew what everyone else meant and we didn't get too worried about legalese like service marks, copyright infringements and the players' association.

As for "(T)his copyrighted telecast is presented by authority of the Office of the Commissioner of Baseball. It may not be reproduced or retransmitted in any form, and the accounts and descriptions of this game may not be disseminated without express written consent,” seriously? The game was all we talked about the next day in the schoolyard and on the sandlot. Glad there were a lot of real criminals back then to worry about otherwise the exercise yard in the Big House would have been really crowded.

Now it's a multi-day spectacle and my least favorite part is the Home Run Derby which is on tonight. I love home runs, as part of the game.I've discovered my heart leaps just as much when a kid on the Connecticut Tigers (our Single A Minor League Baseball team) takes one all the way to right as when someone on my Major League squeeze, the New York Yankees, connects.

Do they include a punt, pass and kick contest or, even better, throw a football through a moving tire competition before they play the Super Bowl? How about making everyone on both teams in the NBA finals play H-O-R-S-E before the deciding game. 

I don't know enough about professional hockey or the National Hockey League to have a cockamamie idea for them, but if I did it would involve Ice Capades, just because I hate Ice Capades. And I am not alone. 

I think we need to get use from all the pitchers selected for the All-Star Game who will otherwise really not get to show their stuff to their best advantage. Managers never leave guys out there more than five or six batters-it's like day care camp or something where everyone gets to be in the game...

OK. Give each pitcher on the AL and NL rosters a bucket of balls to throw at the guys NOT taking part in the Home Run Derby and let those hit batsmen vote on who throws the hardest, and he can have a prize, too...

Make it interesting. Why not have them throw at the HR Derby entrants during the contest? Let's see how many David Ortiz takes downtown when Bartolo Colon is trying to plunk him on the butt. Not so big now Papi, eh? 

What do you mean, 'that's silly!' It's okay when somebody soft tosses bunny balls at these guys to turn into moon shots. I know, 'pipe down, it's the root beer talking!' so I'll leave well enough alone. Me and my frosted mug can take ourselves home.   
-bill kenny