Crosstown Traffic

This is from so long ago I may not yet have born when I wrote it. Seriously. That's how clever (and cripplingly modest) I guess I am; unless I'm not. You be the judge. 

I wanted to call this 111-YG_ because that was the plate number on the metallic blue Equinox sports utility vehicle last Tuesday afternoon coming over the Mohegan-Pequot as one-half of a motorized arsehole sandwich with mayo. Yeah, you know who you are with that goobersnot in the Mazda alongside you as neither one would yield to allow the other to merge into the single lane of traffic going over the bridge towards Mohegan Sun.

So where there are two lanes of traffic, one in each direction over a ludicrously overburdened bridge from before the era where two of the largest casinos in the world set up shop eight minutes apart from one another, we had three cars, two heading in one direction and oncoming traffic going nuts. I kept waiting for the carnage to fill my mirror and was happy to be disappointed.

Then after ALL of us crossed the bridge, I watched the Equinox pass on the left shoulder four of five of us in front of her to include that pesky Mazda from the bridge all while chatting away on her cellphone and then hitting on two wheels the cut-off to exit for Route 32 heading into Norwich. Does my heart good to think this bozoette could be driving in my neighborhood, probably on the sidewalk with the stereo pumping. Some people are too stupid to be allowed to breed and Madame, you are on my (not especially) short list of nominees.

We are the only nation on earth who uses automobiles for population control so since I live in fear of getting inadvertently harvested by one of these obliviots, and so too should you. I think preemptive contraception should be applied like Brylcreem, a little dab'll do you. And Happy Motoring!
-bill kenny