That Second Amendment Is Second to None

One of my guilty pleasures is watching any number of episodes of "Cops," the more the merrier, and not just for the theme song though that certainly is a  toe-tapper. Nope, the addictive attraction for me is how much better about my life and times I always feel after watching the show.

I mean, and of course you've seen your share of episodes as well, basically everything is the same vignette: somebody, almost always at night, usually with alcohol or another mood elevator or altering drug is engaged in an activity that from across the universe either of us could see would not end well for the person doing the perpetrating. And yet....bad boys.

Except and unless, bad girls (or women), in this case. I can make a meal out of a story datelined "Sandwich" even if I think it's bologna (I can do this all day, because I work nights), but you know this is a dispatch begging for follow-ups and pictures, lots of pictures.

Anytime you come across the phrase "lewd wanton," which sounds like a specialty dish on holidays only offered by a takeout place (with a side order of "lascivious"), you should buckle up, butter cup, because there's a rest of the story somewhere just waiting to paint a rainbow all over your blues. Susan, I'm keeping you in my thoughts and hope you acquire patience and literally as well as figuratively, keep your shirt on this time, 'k? 

My initial reaction: best way to beat a concealed weapons charge in the last fortnight.
-bill kenny