Of course, since back in the day my blood pressure has dropped on average 25 points top and 15 points bottom. I have a battalion of physicians who've spent hours making sure I know the medical terms for top and bottom but it sounds folksier (more folksy?) my way so I do it. I'm always surprised that more people don't find me endearing and can never imagine why.
My high point in the recent weeks of my newly-started retirement has been getting phishing email designed to get my dander up and elevate ALL the numbers of my blood pressure from "Bryan," whose email's subject line is "I really hate you." Talk about you had me at hello.
The email itself is as brusque and concise, "I really hate you and you know why! I know that you are not brave enough to reply. Sent from my iPhone" Where I come from those are referred to as 'step off, bitch' fighting words, so imagine how relieved I am that I no longer live where I come from.
I know better than to answer though "Bryan" sends me at least six of those emails every day. I hope he's using a new iPhone every time, and people wonder why Apple was the first company in history to be valued at more than a trillion dollars.
Sorry, Bryan, you'll need to try harder. A lot harder.
-bill kenny
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