Actually, he was closer to being my age and he looked as goofy as the guys with whom I didn't go to Woodstock together all look-you see 'em, too. They have long hair, gray and frayed and wispy, in a pony-tail or up in a man-bun (sort of a dead heat in terms of goofiness). Nothing sticks it to the man like a Volvo station wagon, Teva sandals, and the green 'we recycle' grocery bag filled with tofu and bean sprouts. Fight the Power!
Here's somebody I'd like the 'man' to stick it to. The auto-American cretin who compensates for his car's driver's side headlamp being burned out by driving with his high beams on and not dimming them as you and he approach one another. Yeah, I remember what Driver Ed said: don't retaliate and turn yours on-it makes two blinded drivers but still. My son gave me a great idea-I turn off all my lights which makes it a lot easier for Hi (no Lois) to see me behind the wheel as I visually suggest that he's my #1 special friend, but not in that way.
I also don't know what to do about the driver who drives up a one-way street for a short distance the wrong way, but slowly because he certainly doesn't want to cause an accident, so he can pull into somebody's driveway, rather than go around the block. I love when he comes nose to nose with a car coming down the street the correct way and they glare at each other like Mr. Upstream Salmon has any comeback at all. Or that guy's cousin, the driver who backs up a one-way street in he wrong direction with the car flashers on, so I guess it doesn't count as much.
And finally (for now) how many crumbs from the toaster tray do you suppose it takes to assemble an entire piece of bread, and can you toast that slice when you're done?
-bill kenny
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