????

I had another shopping expedition yesterday to the grocery and among the items I bought was eggs, the jumbo size now. When I was a kid, my mom used to get her milk and eggs from Mr. Ruben who drove a dilapidated old former milk truck as he made his rounds in the developments that sprang up on the outskirts of New Brunswick. His eggs were all one size; I'm pretty sure that's all there was back then, just one size. 

And now, we have sizes but I'm never sure how that happens (or why). I have more than enough trouble finding a dozen unbroken eggs in a carton. And why do people stare at me when I find a broken one and replace it with a whole one from another carton? What am I supposed to do, just suck it up and take the carton home and make an eleven-egg omelet? 

Why are eggs packed in quantities of a dozen and who designed cartons that obviously do NOT prevent the contents from breaking? Just two of my recurring questions. Others, while channel surfing (thank goodness for remotes! As a child, I WAS the remote in our house and if we had then the channels we have now I'd have died of exhaustion from getting up and sitting down) include wondering why there's both a QVC and an HSN?

They're pretty much the same thing and, speaking of wondering, why can't you use BitCoin on them to buy stuff? I have no idea how BitCoin works, sort of like egg sizes maybe, but still, it would allow me to bundle together a bunch of stuff for which I have little to no use and even less understanding all in one place. 

Or these, which are NOT my questions but damn good ones anyway: 
How Soon Should You Go When You Feel the Need to Poop? 
Or, for those more existentially inclined,
If I Die, How Long Will My Dog Wait Before Eating Me? 

And don't get me started about the number of hot dogs in a package and finding a package with the same number of hot dog buns.
-bill kenny