Paging Jim Bouton

Speaking for everyone (I have a card in my wallet that allows me to do this; I keep it alongside my "I Don't Have to Wear a Face Mask and You Can't Make Me" card) today marks the start not of the  2020 Major League Baseball Season We Want but of the 2020 Major League Baseball Season We're Gonna Get. And not a pandemic too soon.

It's certainly better than NOT having Major League Baseball (and dear TV guys, lose the fake crowd noise; I hated watching DFB that way, mainly because in the quiet you can hear what the players are saying to one another and the instructions of the coaches and managers) and I've long since reached the point where had they been playing it, I'd have watched kids playing Tee-ball. 

The Washington Nationals host the New York Yankees at seven tonight on ESPN and Dr. Anthony Fauci will be throwing out the first pitch. 

I'll forgive the face mask. This time.

Traditionally the President of the United States is on hand to do the honors of the Nats' opening day first pitch but President Thin Skin has better things to tweet to do and besides his last appearance went over like gangbusters. 

The Lone Ranger's facemask had 2 eyeholes whereas Trump's has 1 asshole.

Besides, as Cadet Bone Spurs should have realized long ago, this is a sport you need balls to play, letting him out for obvious reasons.
-bill kenny