I have no idea where in the countdown to Christmas we are in terms of days left but, and feel free to thank me now, I have found the gift you can give to that complete tosser of a human being for whom no words have yet been found that adequately capture their degree of uselessness.
Of course, and this is the downside of your grand gesture, the gift that will not only keep on giving but will also live on in infamy for at least a half-hour or so is kinda pricey. Wanted to tell you that before telling you what it is, but decided instead of telling you, to let the folks hawking it make their appeal directly to you and your wallet.
And there's so much more where that comes from you'll wish it could be Christmas every day, but your bank balance will be grateful that it's not.
-bill kenny
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