Breakfast of Champions

I was cruising the aisle of my local Stop 'n' Shop yesterday (at my age not nearly as salacious as I'd like that to sound) and in the frozen foods aisle encountered an offering from Stouffers, apparently as an entree, though I always remember it more as a bleary-eyed breakfast staple, chipped beef, described as being 'A classic dish you can always count on to satisfy.' 

That's as may be but in my case, nope. With toast, without toast, Still Nope. 

I spent eight years in the USAF and after being introduced to it at Lackland Air Base as part of  Basic Military Training (along with haircuts that were closer to my head than far away and 'police call' which was a fancy term for picking up discarded cigarette butts with your fingers), I studiously avoided it for the remainder of my time in blue. That and 'chicken-fried steak,' a specialty of the Army Consolidated Dining Facility up the street from the Frankfurt Post Exchange, that was in reality breaded, fried liver and was even more awful than it sounds. 

Every once in a while I come across advertising for survivalists (I guess) that feature great buys on pallets of meals-ready-to-eat (technically, the use of 'great buys' and meals-ready-to-eat in the same sentence is the definition of an oxymoron) and cannot, for the life of me, having imbibed in these kinds of repasts because little to nothing else was available imagine anyone freely choosing them, much less enjoying them.  

I know, 'you are what you eat.' And the possibilities are staggering.
-bill kenny