Saturday, May 26, 2018

As the Daylight Hours Do Retreat

As a kid, I didn't know anyone anywhere who was my now current age. In hindsight, I imagine Gramma and Grampy were pretty close to it. When I mention grandparents, I mean Mom's parents. We rarely (if ever) saw Dad's parents which was just as well because his mom's brogue was so thick you couldn't understand her and his dad never said a word or at least none I can recall. I do wish I'd paid more attention to both what all of them said and, more importantly, how all of them lived. Too late smart, again. 

Now I'm getting ready to retire and, while counting down the days, am still struggling with what I should and could do with and to so many of those in the course of life so far who were in the "despite" part of my successes rather than the "because of" aspect.

I've decided, somewhat reluctantly and uncertainly, to forego reckoning and revenge because those emotions, perhaps very rewarding, are so corrosive and I've now become too fragile to carry them around inside of me without suffering more of the damage than I could ever hope to inflict. 

Leaving you to draw your own conclusions
It's not that I've mellowed because I haven't. I neither forgive nor forget. It's not in my ancestry and most certainly not in my heredity. I've chosen to focus instead on what's next rather than on what's left, and what's left behind. Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent, when I paint my masterpiece.
-bill kenny    

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