An Oft-Heard Definition of Happiness

I love news-from-the-newsroom-floor type of stories. They're not front page, they never are nor should they be. They're those items that tend to end up on the first column of a left hand inside page, and are items like "Snake eats sleeping guard" or "Jujubes linked to infertility in parakeets" (there are no hyperlinks since I'm hoping I made those two up, especially the latter one).

Take this one, which, however, is a really and truly story, it seems. There's a great deal of schadenfreude involved of course (rejoicing at the misfortune of others is a universal constant) but, underneath that, let's face it, it's funny stuff. Admittedly not for the 'unidentified man' to whom it happened but for a lot of the rest of us.

Talk about clean-up in aisle four, this is a winner alright. I imagine the ambulance ride was one guffaw after the other and I think the capper would have been had the EMT's dropped the 'unidentified man' while he was on the stretcher because they were laughing so hard at the circumstances.

Just me or more often than not concerns about gun control AND birth control produce the exact opposite of the desired results. We've seen that trend continue in our war on drugs so I'm wondering if it's too late to make 2014 the year we champion public misbehavior, declaring people like Lindsay Lohan secular saints and then sitting back to see what happens.

Of course, we may have to limit ammo sales at some hardware stores to just the worms and the gnomes. Maybe open an express lane for speed loaders.
-bill kenny