I Was Once Like You Are Now

I wrote what follows when I was so much older; I'm younger than that now. I'm hoping the wisdom arrives shortly but I'm not holding my breath.

Being my wife's spouse and our children's father are the two things I do best and most days I'm not all that good at either of them. My wife makes the former work for both of us.

As for the latter, I didn't take classes and while I yearned for an indeterminate probationary period, there was none. And nothing but on-the-job training. It's the hardest job I could ever love and despite what I believed while I was on the giving end, Dad is the highest compliment I can receive in the whole world. 

And today is our day. Of course, all of us who are fathers have people to thank (especially our children without whom technically....) and I won't even try to list all of the fathers whom I have had the good fortune to know because that list would go on forever.

I have to pause for the father I shared with my brothers and sisters.

I caged this photo from Adam who got it from the school where Dad taught (and which I attended). 

Our dad was a short time here and is a long-time gone but there have been many times I've had wistful and wishful conversations with him about our two kids (who are now themselves adults). I've spoken more with my father in the four-plus decades since he passed than I did in all the years we shared the planet.

I know these are fantasy conversations because had I ever asked him for advice and had he ever offered it, there would have been no place for me to put it. So full of myself was I for so many years that it's only been in the last score and more that I've learned to appreciate how fortunate I am that those who love me do so despite rather than because of me. I can't help but think he'd have laughed his ass off at that because of how often I've laughed knowing it was true for him as well.

Getting married to my wife made me a man. Having and loving the children who together we made and raised made me a better person. Happy Father's Day.
-bill kenny