Thursday, October 24, 2013

Difference between Nuclear and Unclear Thinking

Today is the birthday of the United Nations. The Hallmark store was fresh out of UN Birthday cards the last time I checked though they may still have some (or lots of) Keepsake Ornaments. Why anyone thinks Star Trek, Tom and Jerry or Agent P have anything to do with a Christmas tree is beyond me but I'm not the one trying to sell stuff at exorbitant mark-up for the holidays. Call before midnight tonight and we'll get your money faster!

Actually if you want to drive into lower Manhattan today and double park in a fire lane, in honor of the UN's birthday I'm sure the NYPD are very understanding. Or not, especially not.

More importantly, though Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon may disagree, at least for me, is that today is my brother Kelly's birthday. Kelly, as you may recall my mentioning was, briefly, the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. Okay, technically he was only almost the Pope but only because, as it turned out, not all bears do $hit in the woods all the time and on that technicality, the Curia decided otherwise.

And, it turns out, two of the electors may have been monkeys and their antipathy towards my brother knows no bounds. Or is it the other way? I get confused sometimes probably because I haven't actually seen Kelly since the fall of 1981 when he was sitting on the floor in my sister's kitchen in Jersey City.

But despite the time and distance we are still very close. We have the same slightly jaundiced view of the world-he is a Rangers devotee and I like Chuck Norris. We think so much alike we complete one another's sentences-for instance, when he says 'go fuc*' I say "yourself." Incredible, right? Do not try this at home, ladies and gentlemen, we are professional siblings.

So, later today, when you finally ransom your car back from the clutches of NYPD impound (didn't know they towed them to Staten Island, did you? And people say the Internet isn't educational!) find a place to watch cartoons and brace yourself for Bugs Bunny who, if he did not already exist when Kelly started to watch TV, he would've had to have invented.
Happy Birthday!
-bill kenny

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