And He Never Saw Ohio, Either.

When I was a kid, Columbus Day was a big deal. In New York City, the Department of Public Works used to paint the white line on Fifth Avenue purple for the annual parade that was always held on the actual date of the holiday, October 12. 

In light of so much more I, as a man of seventy (plus tax) now know that as a boy of twelve I didn't, about the Rape of Paradise which ensued after Columbus' arrival, I wonder if perhaps blood red might not have been a better choice of colors.

Growing up, all I ever cared about was the day off, just like kids across the country. We all recited the rhyme because that's how we knew what we did know about Columbus and since there wasn't a snappy couplet about genocide we didn't hear anything about that aspect of discovering the New World (I also don't remember the Arakawa natives part but some of the little gray cells have had rough days).

Looking at the world as it is and how all settlements and civilizations have developed, I'm not sure it's just Old Chris we should be putting in the defendant's docket and charging. I'm thinking a look in the mirror, as well as a glance out a window, might increase our catch significantly.

And to compound the cacophony of facts clashing with opinions is the realization that not only did Columbus not discover the New  World, but he also wasn't even close to the first. We've spent hundreds of years observing a historical event that is neither historic nor an actual event. 

And now, as it's the dot on the "i" in the Monday holiday, we have another excuse (and sale opportunity) to buy bedding, or is that just me in the last couple of days? Sandwiched between the 'My candidate is on the special advisory committee to Gawd while yours eats bugs" commercials have been a steady stream of ads selling mattresses. 

I'm not sure there's any more of a connection of one to the other than there was to India from Bermuda back in the day. But that's a better-kept secret than was previously ever realized.

-bill kenny