My Lonely Valentine

Happy Valentine’s Day to all those who observe it, however that is. 

I'm married to a woman whose reasons for marrying me I've never understood. I fell in love at first sight with her on Christmas night 1976 in a pub in Frankfurt, Germany but I didn't dream she'd ever say yes when I asked her to marry me on April 3rd, 1977 (the date is engraved in my wedding ring as is our wedding date), and to some extent I've been vamping ever since. 

She is my first thought every morning and the last, as I close my eyes in the evening. I was hoping this might be the year I would manage to collect the words to capture and convey what she means to me, but why would this one be any different?

My wife and I have been married for forty-six years. She has often told me it feels a lot longer than that, but I’m pretty sure that's because the Germans use the metric system to measure distance (and time as well, I hope).

Men are difficult people to live with I’m told. I know better than to ask my wife if that's true and she, in turn, knows better than to wait to be asked, so we make an interesting team. Sigrid is the most organized person on earth; me, not so much. 

I'm the guy who puts the stumble in stumblebunny. And today, Valentine's Day, doesn't help a mostly mono-syllabic moron like me all that much because there's just so much candy and flowers she can stand, and we passed the point of no return a long time ago.

We have, she and I, grown old together which causes me to smile as I had nothing so grand in mind when I first saw her. Some who knew me ‘back in the day’ would be amazed that she kept me nailed to one place long enough for all those years to have become all these years, and I share their amazement. 

I think the truth of this day, and of all our days, endures because it is constant and shared and is, in the end, simple to find and very easy to hold in the palm of your hand for the rest of your life. I'm someone who sees things as complicated because that is who I am. My wife has decided to love me despite that.

We share a life that isn't and will never be the one I thought I wanted when I believed things worked out the way we desired (if we only wanted something bad enough), but when I reach the end of every day, to include today, I look at her and our two adult children, Patrick and Michelle, and know that I love and am loved by them and I can't complain about some settling of the contents during shipment. 

I find myself returning to how Robert Browning expressed himself and his love for Elisabeth Barrett or how John Lennon rediscovered that feeling. Direct, simple, and unadorned beauty. I hope your search is successful as you celebrate today and the partner you have found to share it with as your next day in the dance unfolds.

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be. That was, is, and shall be. Time's wheel runs back or stops. Potter and clay endure." 

Happy Valentine's Day.
-bill kenny