Don't know about you or your situation-quite frankly I'm so self-absorbed I look at the cover of an old edition of The Whole Earth Catalog I found in my basement and go 'hey! that's where I live!' (if you did not know, the WEC was the internet before there was an internet, easiest way to explain it).
And while, as a resident of the northeast USA, I recognize millions of us have spent weeks up to our keisters in sun-starved days, the only person I'm concerned about in all of that seasonally affected and detected and rejected hullabaloo is moi.
I'm not looking for sympathy--if you are, the easiest place to find it is in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis. Go ahead and check I'll wait right here. Are you feeling better now? Yeah, didn't think so; me neither. And don't feel sorry for me, I do an excellent job of that all by myself and, besides, I'm very competitive. Save your sorries for yourself-you'll need them soon enough.
A lot of us are going through the motions right now and I suspect it has to do, at least a little bit, with the weather we've been having (which works if you're in Boston or Philly but not so much in San Diego or Honolulu) and in my case some personal head noise I could and should have managed better.
As the years have passed, and my semi-paranoia seems to now be rushing by, there are things I've left undone because I thought I'd 'get around to them.' I'm not the happiest camper at the jamboree to concede that more and more, less and less of what's been left undone is going to undergo a status change. That I'm not the only one to appreciate my leave-taking will create a hole about the same as a fist pulled out of a bucket of water is rather a small solace as the remains of the day scatter across the horizon.
I surrendered The Big Picture effort because I'm small-minded and now that the miniatures are proving too hard to accomplish as well I'm starting to look around for the exit to the place I was before, knowing I won't make it back to there, either.
Don't know about you but I really need Spring to get here now. I'm scouting for shoots of new grass and the first one I see I'm gonna grab with both hands and pull so hard the earth itself will give unto me a verdant field and still I will demand even more. I'm not saying I'm sorry, unless I'm captured or cornered and it doesn't look like either is happening today.
-bill kenny
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