From a Smile to a Tear

We live close enough to the William W. Backus Hospital that I can walk to it and not break a sweat. I didn't realize how close it was to the house when scouting for a place to live back in the autumn of '91 but trust me, I'm grateful for the proximity more than I should be, perhaps. 

Several years ago the hospital added a helicopter landing and take-off pad and is now part of the Lifestar network or whatever it's called. My wife would probably know better as years ago she had a heart attack and they transported her via Lifestar from Backus to Hartford Hospital. They're a part of the soundtrack of our neighborhood as they fly in any and all types of weather and are (to me at least) an everyday miracle. 

Thinking about the Lifestar helicopter reminded me of Magnus und Marchy (bear with me). They were two German kids popped for dope, actually hard drugs, as I remember the sporadic letters in tortured English arriving from JVA Stadelheim and, more often, Neudeck (where the women's jail was/is) who listened to a radio show I did over forty years ago. They weren't married, I don't think, but were boyfriend and girlfriend; at some point, on the outside, they had become junkies together.

When they started writing-actually Marchy did as Magnus knew close to no English--they weren't clean but were in jail. I didn't know how long they were in jail for or how much longer they had but I did get the sense it was a long time. I'd hear from Marchy with a request about every two weeks.

I had to keep track of her letters since she'd reference something in one note and mention it in later correspondence in much the way you'd return to a topic in a conversation. Her letters kept me on my toes.

I recall her request (for herself), "I'm Going Home by Helicopter," from Ten Years After (with Alvin Lee, whose blazing guitar licks were stupefying especially at maximum volume). TYA had leapt into American rock awareness with a blistering performance in the Woodstock motion picture. I hadn't realized until I'd needle-dropped the record that Marchy was right! Listen to the intro yourself, Alvin Lee does say 'by helicopter.' I had never heard it in all the times I'd listened to the song.

I smiled just now remembering the smile I had when I played it for her. And then I recalled the letter from Magnus, actually by someone else in the cell block who could write English, days after I'd played the song thanking me for it and telling me how much Marchy would have loved hearing it if she hadn't deliberately overdosed the weekend before.

And then suddenly my smile gets very tight until the jaws ache and I realize you can lose people more than once and that no matter how often you do, the pain is real because the loss still hurts.
-bill kenny