I know, 'Is this a screed about catering Trump's birthday party?' No, but I understand why today's title might have made you think so. It just came to me as I started to write this so now you have your explanation.
Which is better than I am doing. The following showed up in my email on Friday afternoon, titled, "228$ For Six Months Insurance," and since we took delivery of our new leased car last Saturday I was all ears and eyes, but only momentarily.
Here's their written pitch, sort of a combination of William Burroughs' Naked Lunch and Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.
"Left till here away at to whom past. Feelings laughing at no wondered repeated provided finished. It acceptance thoroughly my advantages everything as. Are projecting inquietude affronting preference saw who. Marry of am do avoid ample as. Old disposal followed she ignorant desirous two has. Called played entire roused though for one too. He into walk roof made tall cold he. Feelings way likewise addition wandered contempt bed indulged.
"Delightful unreserved impossible few estimating men favourable see entreaties. She propriety immediate was improving. He or entrance humoured likewise moderate. Much nor game son say feel. Fat make met can must form into gate. Me we offending prevailed discovery.
"The him father parish looked has sooner. Attachment frequently gay terminated son. You greater nay use prudent placing. Passage to so distant behaved natural between do talking. Friends off her windows painful. Still gay event you being think nay for. In three if aware he point it. Effects warrant me by no on feeling settled resolve.
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"Dashwood contempt on mr unlocked resolved provided of of. Stanhill wondered it it welcomed oh. Hundred no prudent he however smiling at an offence. If earnestly extremity he he propriety something admitting convinced ye. Pleasant in to although as if differed horrible. Mirth his quick its set front enjoy hoped had there. Who connection imprudence middletons too but increasing celebrated principles joy. Herself too improve gay winding ask expense are compact. New all paid few hard pure she.
"Do play they miss give so up. Words to up style of since world. We leaf to snug on no need. Way own uncommonly travelling now acceptance bed compliment solicitude. Dissimilar admiration so terminated no in contrasted it. Advantages entreaties mr he apartments do. Limits far yet turned highly repair parish talked six. Draw fond rank form nor the day eat.
"New the her nor case that lady paid read. Invitation friendship travelling eat everything the out two. Shy you who scarcely expenses debating hastened resolved. Always polite moment on is warmth spirit it to hearts. Downs those still witty an balls so chief so. Moment an little remain no up lively no. Way brought may off our regular country towards adapted cheered.
"Extremity direction existence as dashwoods do up. Securing marianne led welcomed offended but offering six raptures. Conveying concluded newspaper rapturous oh at. Two indeed suffer saw beyond far former mrs remain. Occasional continuing possession we insensible an sentiments as is. Law but reasonably motionless principles she. Has six worse downs far blush rooms above stood."
At first blush, it could be a transcript of part of one of the Orange Shitstain's stump speeches but there is no mention of Hannibal Lecter, sharks, windmills, or batteries to say nothing of dogs and cats on the menu. I think this was an attempt to get an AI Chabot drunk on turpentine and teach it English composition by correspondence course during a mail strike. Or not.
-bill kenny
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