Friday, May 5, 2023

Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits

My brothers have/had beards and mustaches. Our son has both. I've had one and the other at various times and sometimes or the other. I've also compromised settling in the middle and had a goatee.

I don't pretend to know why anyone else cultivates facial hair. I used to do it because I looked like a kid for a really long time and got carded in more places than you might believe ever served alcohol (but you would be wrong). Now, it's more or less a force of habit.

As I matured (=got older) my facial hair matched what was still left on my head and that was grey. I mention that because for about four days after I start growing a beard I think I look really cool. My spouse, on the other hand, thinks I look like a homeless person and I will acknowledge that I have noticed I seem to have a surfeit of spare change for reasons not entirely clear to me. 

I have beard oil, in case it squeaks (and since it doesn't I guess that means the oil works), and mustache wax, which tastes terrible and I know this because I have a habit of bitting at my mustache for reasons I cannot explain and that I still try to do even when I'm clean-shaven. And I own a bewildering assortment of razors for when I do shave and am constantly on the outlook for new and better ones since I'm never happy or satisfied with what I have.

I always end up shaving for the same reason, more or less, that I opted to grow a beard in the first place: because I can but fell across a short essay that suggests some people spend a LOT of time in deep thought on topics like this, though even after reading it more than once I'm not sure I understand why.

I prefer my musings on the subject to be slightly more musical.
-bill kenny

 

No comments:

"Exquisite Karmic Irony for $400, Alex"

I've enjoyed reading The Onion for many years.  At first glance, I thought this story was one of their trademark satirical pieces.  So...