The Creep Factor

I caught a TV ad the other night for a fish sandwich at McDonald's that disquiets me a great deal. I understand the marketing concept: it's Lent, and for a burger joint, that fact presents, how-do-you-say, challenges. Times are tough all over and the last thing anyone, to include a meat-based restaurant needs, is another reason to not come through the door. And let's face it, when we're talking Lent we're talking a BIG reason.

It's not just the Billy Bass singing in a high whiny voice (actually a lot like Pee Wee Herman on whatever the opposite of helium might be, now that I think about it) or the bearded chair-boogie guy getting down with his bad self, so to speak, while the fish sings that ratchets up the makes-my-skin-crawl factor (though NONE of that helps the spot, in my opinion). What the heck is the guy who walks in with the drill supposed to be and why the heck is he being anything in the commercial at all? Just me or does he nod his head at the bearded guy (or is it the fish on the wall? And why is this spot starting to resemble an episode of Lost in terms of self-references?) Just strange stuff.

Reminds me of that whatever-it-was character that Six Flags had who danced. Remember him? Sort of a footrace to see which was stranger, the music Mr. Six danced to or Mr. Six. Always had that road kill on the highway attraction for me-couldn't look at him, and couldn't look away either. The Six Flags stopped using him a while ago but he was around long enough, I suspect, to scar a few minds and hearts. Thank you, Madison Avenue.

And why are the Geico people NOT leaving well-enough alone? Just when I think (hope and pray) they are finally done with the cave-spokespersons, they unveil those googly eyes on a pile of money with Rockwell's Somebody's Watching Me playing in the background. I mean I don't begrudge the youngster the money from use of the song-it can't be the easiest gig on earth as Berry Gordy's son, Mr. Motown (Jr.), and it has been awhile between hits-but what's twenty-years among friends, right? I still don't understand the accent on the gecko but I'd imagine he'd get real shrill, real fast, if that Mickey D guy with the drill mounted him alongside of Billy Bass. With enough bread crumbs, I bet he, too, could taste like North Pacific cod.
-bill kenny