I have been accused of having a febrile and twisted
imagination. Unless this is your first time visiting this particular rodeo I
will not insult your intelligence by attempting to argue the accuracy and
veracity of those observations. Thus, you could be forgiven for
assuming “stabbing a watermelon in a passive-aggressive manner” might well be
something from a near-fever dream I’ve had.
I’ve never been to Bantam (I feel a Three Dog Night song coming on but will
suppress the urge) but I’m sure it’s quite lovely, especially during watermelon
stabbing season.
You know with a bit of press wizardry, Carmine could end up
with an endorsement deal for V-8 Fusion. Maybe make enough money to get himself
a bigger tool box, some seedless grapes and a large carton of dial tone.
-bill kenny
