Thank You, Holly

What follows was shared by someone I'll never meet on a social network. It stung and still does.

"I asked a friend who has crossed 70 & is heading towards 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself? He sent me the following:

1 After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, and my friends, I have now started loving myself.

2 I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

3 I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

4 I leave my waitress a big tip. The extra money might bring a smile to her face. She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.

5 I stopped telling the elderly that they've already narrated that story many times. The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.

6 I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.

7 I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, just say "Thank You.”

8 I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt. Personality speaks louder than appearances.

9 I walk away from people who don't value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.

10 I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.

11 I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.

12 I have learned that it's better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. My ego will keep me aloof, whereas, with relationships, I will never be alone.

13 I have learned to live each day as if it's the last. After all, it might be the last.

14 I am doing what makes me happy. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!" Hello in there.

-bill kenny

Hello In There

We've gotten very tired in my house of answering the landline telephone from what looks like a local number, maybe even close to the phone number of someone we know but it's actually some jablone trying to sell solar panels or the automated drone voice of someone who claims to be from Apple or Microsoft or the Social Security Administration and we must 'press one now' or something just awful will happen and it'll be our fault. 

Almost all of these robocalls wait for the person answering the phone to say something otherwise they go silent and move on. I mention all of that because shortly before 11 Tuesday morning the phone rang and the Caller ID said it was a number in the 203 area code (Connecticut down in the New Haven and Fairfield Counties area) and we didn't answer. The caller left a message for my wife whose name (and phone number) they had from our long-time next-door neighbor.

The caller said she'd ben trying to reach our neighbor for a number of days and was now worried and would Sigrid please knock on the doors and ring the doorbells and make sure she was okay. We've lived alongside one another all the years since we arrived from Germany, so since November 1991 and our neighbor was always there with a smile, a little something for the kids as they were growing up, fresh-baked cookies at Christmas. In other words, one of those Currier and Ives tableaux.

We went next door and banged and rang to no avail. Sigrid looked through the mail slot and saw a stack of mail on the hallway floor and that's when I called the Police Department and the dispatcher promised to send a car to conduct a wellness check. Actually, four cars showed up and eventually, they figured out how to get into the neighbor's house and, as you've guessed I'm sure, they found her dead though no one offered an idea of how long it had been.

We saw her very nearly every other day for close to twenty-eight years but I couldn't tell you when I last saw her or how long her garage door had been open. She was eighty-two years old and people who tell me 'she led a full life' mean well I'm sure but are full of crap and I hope they don't offer that believing it be of solace or comfort to any of her relatives.

We're all we have and sometimes I think we may spend too much time and energy arguing with one another over what we DON'T have in common, losing sight of all those things we share. For me, this is another reminder that the next time I say hello to someone it could be the last time.
-bill kenny