I have more free time than is good for me, and what at times feels like an unlimited choice of television programming that is at the same moment entirely unsatisfying. I had a dream recently where one of the sports stations was broadcasting rooster wrestling. I believe I was dreaming, or hope I was, though I thought the competition was sponsored by Nike, so I'm not all that sure. I believe it was being hosted at the Calaveras County Civic Auditorium, but, as I mentioned a moment ago, I'm not all that certain on that detail either.
However, what I watched, sort of like a wreck on the highway, Saturday afternoon, puts rooster wrestling in the shade. It was the Hush Pillow Fight Championships, on ESPN 8. The namesake sponsor covers all manner of bedclothes, not just pillows. (I suspect such catholicity was the critical factor for why Mike "The 2020 Election Was Rigged" Lindell didn't land the sponsorship deal).
It looked to me like the championships were held in a high school gym, and one that had an ice cream sandwich concession, since every shot of the crowd and their reactions had people eating ice cream sammiches. Perhaps Klondike Bar should sign on as a co-sponsor.
The announcers were enthused about the ringside action and very knowledgeable about the scoring for what they referred to as "Three Pounds of Fury," a reference, I assume, to the weight of the pillows. Not sure how much tactics and strategy played a role in the bouts, as it seemed to me the more muscular of the two combatants always won.
The victors received a PFC Championship Belt and a briefcase with (I am guessing) a cash prize, labeled 'hush money,' while the crowd roared its approval. I'm sure there are franchise opportunities available to get in on the ground sheet, so to speak, but I can only dream what they might cost.
-bill kenny
No comments:
Post a Comment