Thinking about Mom

At some point on most days, I have a moment where something triggers a memory of my mother, who passed away several years ago in 2017. The memories are always happy, which I think she would have appreciated. This was my celebration of her birthday from a very long time ago. I called it: 

Expecting Me to Remember

Timing is everything, and if I wait too long, she'll probably be at the beach, just leaving for the beach or returning from the beach. Today is my mother's birthday, and when you live in Florida because you hate the snow of New Jersey, that's how you roll.

My mom married my Dad shortly before she celebrated her twenty-third birthday and was my mother before she was twenty-four. She lived with and loved a man who loved her and all of us very much but didn't know how to say it or show it. She could hear it and see it, and that's all that really needed to count. It took me a lifetime to accept that.

When I was a kid, she was my intermediary in every transaction with my dad-walking a fine line between a proud man and a headstrong son who were so alike they couldn't see the forest for the family tree. 

She negotiated not only safe passage for me to adulthood but for all of my brothers and sisters, including the youngest three for whom she was all the parent they were to have at a critical point in their lives when Dad died.

My mother is not a sweet old lady-she is a tough broad who has stared into the maw of terrifying illnesses and diseases and never blinked. She doesn't meddle in the lives of her children or those of her grandchildren, but when you ask her for advice, you get it with the bark off. When you buy a ticket from Joan, "Joanie" as her younger brother Jim always called her, you get the whole ride.

Whenever I call her at the holidays, be it Christmas or Mother's Day, she's on beach time. Hell, I could call her on Two for Tuesdays at Hannafin's, and she'd be calculating high tides at the beach, which is on the other side of the road from where she lives. I promise her someday we'll get down to see her, but I am my father's son, and she knows that won't happen and she's okay with it.

I'll spend a great deal of time today trying to get her on the phone. And when she answers, she'll be surprised that I called, as she always is even though I always do. 

Some Moms are frozen in a moment. Others seize the day and live every moment of it and more. Happy Birthday, Mom. Life's a beach.
-bill kenny