Combover Is as Combover Does

We have a ways to go before we next elect a President of the United World. I used to say States but let's face it, the President of the United States is really the President of the United World, whether anyone to include the person in the office likes it or not. You can most certainly disagree, that's your birthright.

Except, please tell me who is Prime Minister of Canada-that should be easy. They are our neighbor to the North, right next door. That name is....yeah, figured as much. Should we have a go at naming the President of Mexico? Why not? They, too, share this continent with us. How are we doing so far on this quiz? Ooooh, not so hot, eh?

Try this one: the Prime Minister of England (okay, that's a trick question since "England" is not the official name of the country). Still drawing a blank. Ditto for the Chancellor of Germany or the President of France. Should we switch to the other side of the world and have attempt to name the Prime Minister of Japan (he even has a blog). Care to guess the name of the Philippines' President? No.....

It's not that we're bad at world events, though in many instances we are. It's that we just don't care and we don't have to and feel we probably never will. How many Germans know the name of the US President? Here's a hint: ALL of them. Wanna play again? How many Japanese people know who the President of the United States is? It's the exact same as the number of Japanese people living in Japan.

What's my point? You can see it unless I wear a hat, which is more than can be said for a champion pouter and poser, Donald Trump who may be running for President (I suspect that cheers up the current occupant of the White House like no other news imaginable). I assume he is running as a Republican but there may be more to The Don than meets the comb and, as it turns out, he's open to a third (or more) party candidacy, just as long as he gets to run.

I confess that I have (so far) been immune to Mr. Trump's appeal (all this time on and 'birther' is still his hot button issue?), though I've little doubt he has some for someone, somewhere. I'm smiling now imagining a memorable moment yet to be where two German schoolchildren are struggling to remember the name of a recent Republican American president. One of them says, "Ich habs! Lincoln." And the other scoffs, "So ein quatsch!! Das ist doch das auto von Trump."

-bill kenny

All We'll Need is U

Maybe you've said to yourself "Golly (insert your name here), I wish there were something I could do to make Norwich better." Might I suggest you've been saying that to the wrong person, you should be telling the mayor. Why not call his office today at 860-823-3742 and tell him you want to be a part of the One City Clean Up, OCCU, Saturday, May 21st.

Between now and then, you'll hear and read a lot about no-cost and low cost clean-up and fix up initiatives of all kinds to complement the start of the downtown economic redevelopment effort funded by the bond issue. And yes, three point three million dollars can go some ways to strengthening the heartbeat of the city, the Chelsea District, but there are a lot of other things we should do and can do before and during the start-ups of the new businesses, shops and restaurants that will be bringing new people to Norwich.

Quite frankly, we don't want visitors to get here today because there's more than enough junk and bits and pieces from a rough winter all across the city to scare 'em off before they even unpack. Spring cleaning is the next order of business and what are needed are helping hands, work gloves and trash bags. And we can get started next Saturday, the 23rd, when the Leffingwell House Museum celebrates Earth Day. From noon to four, join your neighbors in creating treasures from trash (beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?) at the Repurposed Sculpture Exhibit. To learn more, call 860-887-9000.

Consider next Saturday a tune-up for the OCCU on May 21st. Starting at Howard Brown Park and working across downtown and beyond, Team Norwich volunteers will be picking up and fixing up whatever they can, wherever they can. This is the day we start to take back the largest city in New London County. This is when the over forty thousand of us who call Norwich home begin again to own the consequences of our actions and help one another get back on our feet.

Remember those discarded fast food wrappers over the week end you saw on Heritage Riverfront Walkway, and all that broken glass and other junk on the sidewalk on Water Street and elsewhere? Remember how you felt how 'somebody should do something.' That's you and me, Somebody One and sidecar. It has to start somewhere-if not us, then who; if not now, then when?

Call the Mayor's office and sign up for any of the different volunteer jobs that are being developed. We've got a lot of picking up and patching up to do and you can't have enough helpers. And when we're done with downtown, we'll move on to the next neighborhood, yours or maybe yours is the one after that. But don't worry, we'll get to it because we'll get to every neighborhood. We're starting in one place and we'll keep at it until we've gotten to every house on every street in our city. And once we get our clean on, we'll keep right on keeping that way.

We're expecting lots of company in the coming months and years. Norwich gained five thousand new residents in the past decade and we were just warming up. Who know how far we can go? The first 350 years were only a prologue, the best is yet to come. You don't want to miss this.

-bill kenny

Karen Ann Was Already Taken

I've taken to stopping by the prepared food section of the grocery store on my way to the salad bar as I head home in the afternoons. I still make my lunch for the following work day salad but a couple of weeks ago I stumbled across a Reuben sandwich on what I call panini bread that spoke to me. Really, it did; it said 'hey, homie! Eat me.' So I did, that very same evening.

It was delicious and encouraged me to look for it every afternoon ever since. My efforts have not yet been crowned by success, and I fear they never shall. I was home yesterday for medical testing, a carotid scan (I do not enjoy listening to the sound of my own heart pumping or to my blood coursing through my veins and I definitely don't like looking at the movie on the monitor that goes with the soundtrack). Afterwards stopped at the market and decided, as a consolation prize for lunch, to have a honey ham on panini bread sandwich. I always warm them in the microwave, even the ones with lettuce. It was good but it was no Reuben.

Our daughter, Michelle, who has her mother's pragmatism, suggested I stop fretting about The Last and Lost Reuben and ask the deli counter folks if they can just make one for me. Great idea, unless they say no and then what? I'm a half full glass kind of guy; actually it's more of a paper cup than a glass. And, in the interests of honesty, I should point out that I like Reuben sandwiches but there's no need to open a can of sauerkraut just for mine, if you follow. Her point is without the sauerkraut, it's not a Reuben. Okay so maybe I like a Ben. But I live in hope at least until around four this afternoon when I pass the sandwich case and experience the universal kiss-off that I can call it whatever I want.

Apropos of what's in a name, my wife showed me a Facebook online ad and I confess to NOT remembering what it was about but I do recall the name of the spokesperson, 'Celerie.' I'm sorry but what the f(iretr)uck is the matter with this woman's parents that they sort of named her for a vegetable some nutritionists see as structured water locked into a vegetable matrix (to my mind, this easily explains Keanu Reeves) that many of us will only eat when covered with ranch dressing or peanut butter. I was so inspired, I suggested we consider having another child and, were he a male, calling him Russell Sprouts. Her counter proposal involved my being hoist by something other than my petard, rendering procreation moot.

-bill kenny

Your Mileage May Vary

I encountered a person in the grocery Sunday morning while I was grabbing a newspaper who let me know in no uncertain terms, 'you're not nearly as funny as you think.' I was confused as to what he actually meant-that I think funny or that I think I am funny. Both are true, to varying degrees. He didn't appreciate my wan attempt at humor; as a matter of fact I don't think he speaks any Spanish at all. For him, I'm another failed audition on the ant farm for Zen stand-up. I guess it's nice to start the week knowing what you're not, to include elsewhere.

With the return of Spring to New England, especially before the Norwich (CT) City Council passes the next municipal budget, you see an uptick in attendance at Council meetings, which is good (of course) except if you missed all the discussion and explanation on why x amount of dollars are going towards z number of projects, sometimes your comments and input are less helpful. We're all entitled to our own opinions, but we're NOT entitled to our own facts. Was that a disclaimer before looking at a preview of this week's meetings? Sniff, sniff. Sure smells like it. Just try not to step in it.

This afternoon at four in Room 319 of City Hall it's a regular and seemingly organizational meeting of the Community Development Advisory Committee who last met in January, according to their agenda, but none of whose minutes (and they've been around since 2002 it seems) are on the city's web site). Don't know about you but I'm thinking we have way too many folks with piece of the city's development that don't communicate especially with anyone beyond their own membership (and do NOT get me started on working well with others) and maybe we need to have City Council fold some of these operations into one another just to cut down on the traffic in City Hall meeting rooms.

At five in Room 210 of City Hall, it's a regular meeting of the Ethics Commission whose March meeting minutes (in draft form) are right here.

At seven thirty, is the first opportunity to offer comment and feedback on the City Manager's Proposed 2011-2012 budget. That's the full version (still think it's more than symbolic and a little disquieting to offer a downtown street as the cover with no one in the picture), showing all the work and math-the Cliff's Notes version is here but I think you're better served with the unabridged version to better appreciate how everything fits together.

Tuesday at five thirty, there are a pair of meetings, both involving education. The first, is a regular meeting of the Norwich Free Academy Board of Trustees in the Latham Science Center on the school's campus (not sure what the deal with the * is all about, but it breaks up the page). And here are the February and March meeting minutes to which the agenda is referencing.

Also at five thirty, it's a regular meeting of the Board of Education in the Kelly Middle School library. Perhaps the Board might consider providing both the meeting agenda and the minutes of previously held meetings to whomever is maintaining the Norwich Public School Blog as that is both current and accurate while the Board's website is a delightful combination of neither.

The departmental budget hearings resume tonight at six in Room 335 and include the Office of the City Clerk, Recreation Department and office of the City Manager, among others. Think of it as VH'1's Behind the Music without music, or VH-1.

At six thirty, across the corridor, in City Hall's Room 335 it's a public meeting by the Community Development Advisory Committee on the policies and procedures for public services agencies (the fire and police departments and the give a dweeb a pony ride for his birthday department), to apply for Community Development Block Grants (a dollar figure that gets smaller every year as the number of applicants grows). There's another session Thursday afternoon at 4:30 for community facilities (and organizations), also in Room 335.

And at seven, in the Planning Department's conference room at 23 Union Street it's the first meeting of the year (I assume) for the Zoning Board of Appeals (there are NO minutes of any previous meetings posted on the city's website for this year, so here's hoping their first one goes off smoothly).

Wednesday morning at a quarter of nine, it's a regular meeting of the Rehabilitation Review Committee in the Planning Department's conference room at 23 Union Street. It seems that Wednesday's meeting, judging from December's draft of minutes, will be their first meeting of the year as well.

The Housing Authority meet in regular session at 4:30 in their offices at 10 Westwood Park and if you're curious about what they do or what they have done, you'll need to attend a meeting as neither agenda not meeting minutes ever find their way to the city's website.

The Baseball Stadium Authority meets at six in Room 210 of City Hall ("No Pepper Allowed"). Digging through the city's website, they, too, seem to have no meetings yet this season as nothing is posted on the city's website.

The Public Safety Committee meets, this month at the Laurel Hill Volunteer Fire Department, starting at seven. The March meeting was cancelled but the February draft meeting minutes are here.

I already mentioned the 4:30 Thursday afternoon meeting on the Community Development Block Grants so let me close with Friday morning's meeting of the Chelsea Gardens Foundation at nine in Room 319. Their membership and meeting minutes aren't listed on the city's website. so they have a bit of work to get done in order to comply with state statutes on Freedom of Information and sunshine laws. What better time to do that than in the spring-after all, what could be more important to a garden than sunshine?

There's a team Norwich meeting this Saturday, starting at nine, in the Central Fire House. The guest speaker is John Bilda from Norwich Public Utilities, an engine and critical component of Rose City Economic development. Rumor has it this week there's pudding (I started that rumor myself so I know it's accurate). Bring a runcible spoon as they can hold so much more. We'll let the Owl and the Pussycat worry about their own utensils after they're through dancing.

-bill kenny

If Parting Could Be Painless

Didn't realize on Thursday, saying good night to someone who'd called on the phone that I was saying goodbye. Had an email from a mutual acquaintance yesterday afternoon and am just starting to grasp the sensation I'm experiencing is the hole in my heart. I've become fond of saying as an excuse masquerading as a reason (since I'm not especially demonstrative (enough for some folks) when displaying feelings) that "I'd miss you more if I knew you better." This sudden departure is a case in point.

I've worked for maybe a half dozen years with J., speaking on the phone perhaps twice a week and sometimes more often, not always about whatever project in which we were engaged but as a sort of safe harbor, someone I could bounce an idea off of and not be thought criminally crazy or worse. I hope I served that same purpose for him as well. All we were missing were the fishbowls. It's Lent, he'd have enjoyed that line.

I was told his death was from natural causes. As opposed to unnatural, I guess. This is why I'm accused of being snarky when all I'm looking for is clarity. I hate when we use language to mask meaning. Something that should be transparent instead is rendered translucent which is almost, but not quite, the same thing and it's the difference and the distinction between the promise and the performance that so often causes me to get lost and left behind.

It feels like the same world this morning that it was yesterday. It isn't, of course, and not only because I know of at least one less person who is in it. That knowledge doesn't change the shade of the sky or the shape of the clouds. It will not speed up or slow down the coming of Spring-a season J. didn't especially like (a winter guy for reasons I never asked) and maybe that absence of 'this is what I know to be true' is really the hardest part.

The realization that while I'd like to think I knew this person, or any of the other people with whom I interact on a daily basis, in the end I have to concede that I didn't and now never shall. I'm not alone-each of us is surrounded by people just like ourselves. We have all the time in the world to get to know one another until all our days rush together in a fullness we cannot believe or otherwise achieve. We are born and die alone and everything in between is lived near, but rarely with one another.

-bill kenny

The Red Sox Roller Coaster

Being a Yankees fan in New England is a bit more of a trial than it should be even if the New England part of the geography is Connecticut which is about evenly split between fans of Red Sox Nation and The Evil Empire (with LR, a/k/a Subway, as our token Mets fan).

The Red Sox lost the first six games of the season and I actually became afraid the Fenway braintrust might give Terry Francona the heave-ho which would be very sad as he's a great manager and is really good with a team whose fans are often (way more than) slightly neurotic.

That danger has passed for now as the Bosox opened a home series against the Bronx Bombers yesterday afternoon and won, 9 to 6, not only allowing the Red Sox to record their first victory of the season, but, seemingly, to also clinch a berth in the World Series. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but only a little bit and that mindset is as rational as the whole 'the sky is falling! What's the matter with the Red Sox' doom and gloom noises that had been rumbling across the Bay State and environs all week.

In light of how my guy, Phil Hughes, got smacked like a pinata at a two-for-one Whackamole garage sale in Escondido, it's almost churlish of me to note the Sox' starting pitcher, John Lester, didn't pitch a whole lot better or even a lot longer than Silly Phil. And considering how many times the two clubs will meet this season (hint: they play the other three teams in the division, Toronto, Tampa Bay and Baltimore a total of 6 point two games*) and how often in history one or the other has captured the division, usually at the other's expense, the last weekend of the season, I'm not sure there's any compelling reason for the victory parade that was launched on Van Ness Street.

One swallow does not a spring, or a porn star, make and the same is true for one victory as the first week of the 2011 season comes to an end. On the other hand, if it gives the fans of The Olde Town Team something to cheer about, more power to them. It's only fair as the Sox players will be busy during the week of the ALCS, arranging tee times as they have so often in recent years as other guys from another city gear up to try to collect what their fans see as their birthright, a World Series ring. Just ask a Cubs fan how often the World Series opens on Palm Sunday.

-bill kenny

(*the Surgeon General has determined this statement exceeds your MDA for hyperbole)

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--

Two more disparate bed-fellows were conjoined headline twins this week as subjects rather than as precipitaters (and other words that end in bater) and I thought it would be poor manners to not note the change in the dynamic though the cosmetic remains. For those who worship at the altar of the snap judgment, who genuflect before the Tabernacle of the Arched Eyebrow and Stentorian Snort and who truly believe if you voice an opinion loudly enough and often enough the Baby Jesus, among others, turns it into fact, you have my sympathy as Glenn Beck and the Fair and Balanced Folks at Fox part ways.

For those wearing happy hats about this and breaking out into song and dance, I can remember it wasn't that long ago that your Lord of the Trolls, Sir Keith of Olbermann and Fort Lee, NJ, was handed his hat (sadly, it never seemed big enough to cover his mouth) by his employer and (yet) the band played on. Might I suggest for all of you and all of your 'I hate that Network' ugliness, what goes around comes around. Time to change direction of the circles, perhaps.

Meanwhile, the President of the United States (have you seen how much he has aged-how much ALL of them age?) has decided he'd like another bite of the apple, though why anyone would seek the office when the mirror tells you the toll it's taking, is beyond me. It is very possible this time tomorrow much of the federal government of our country will be idle as the funding to drive expires at one minute before midnight tonight. For him and others, what's a few more grey hairs among friends, especially if they're not friends.

Depending on where you get your news (sorry GB and KO, you must be present to win!) the impasse in developing a federal budget (this fiscal year started 1 October of last year, if you're keeping track; that's right, five months and eight days ago) has become, with my apologies to a very astute Potomac pundit, Mike Causey, a situation with two guys in a room full of gasoline arguing over who has the most matches.

And you're telling me there's a better than even money chance we can have a repeat of this trauma and drama, if the political stasis remains, for the final year of this President's first term, and the second of the two years of this House of Representatives and then we can do this all over again for two or four more years? Lather, rinse, repeat. And viewer numbers escalate as program ratings continue to climb, kaching!

And the media wonders why so many of us regard it with suspicion and distrust-just look at the stories for this past week, it strains our brains and just, when we start to believe our eyes and ears and heart, they practice first us to deceive as we slowly drift apart. The Carpenter said nothing but "Cut us another slice: I wish you were not quite so deaf--I've had to ask you twice."

-bill kenny