Do As I Say

We had an Incident in Baltimore Harbor the other day, but with so many oil spills and the like, it's becoming really hard to get as upset about them as we need to to change our habits. 

It seems to me waaay too many of us prefer talking about doing something to actually doing something. And in this case, we've decided that since all ducks are birds, all birds must be ducks. And, before you get cranky I AM NOT downplaying the destruction caused by the incompetence, arrogance, avarice, sloth, and who knows how many other of the deadly sins that have created the latest incident.

But......it's not just the oil industry (multi-national, poly bendable, super attenuated, hyphenated, and poly-unsaturated). When I last went car shopping, do you know how many vehicles, similar to what I bought, got better fuel economy? It's a trick question, not because I didn't tell you what I bought, but because I don't know (either). I didn't ask-because I didn't care. I 'knew' the vehicle got decent mileage and that was fine. I cared more about the cloth seats than I did about the hydrocarbon emissions and hand on your heart so, too, do you.

We read oil spill stories on Facebook or other social media and click on the angry emoji or maybe the sad one and move on. If we were to be as honest with one another as we say we are (and we lie something awful, don't we?), we'd do away with nozzles at the gas pumps, and replace them with HUGE gauge syringes and IV bags to mainline the oil, diesel, kerosene and gasoline, because our appetite for 'the stuff' remains unsated. For every hybrid car sold, there are sales of TEN V-8 models (for all I know; I'm in rant mode. Do I look like I have time to research facts?).

Yeah, we all want wind, solar, and other alternative energy, (okay, not Donny Dorito) unless it costs more than our current fossil fuel fix, or involves changing in any way how we live. That's why Facebook is so great! I just click on the appropriate button and my soul is cleansed. Sorry about the gulls, and it's too bad that all those coastal animals in the marshland ecosystems are being destroyed. Dude, that's so sad I can't bear to watch very much of it on the TV news anymore.

If only we could get to the source of the greed, go deep beneath the waves, and cap the rapacious gluttony that has us chugging down those fifty-five-gallon oil drums like waterfront whores knocking back cheap tequila shots during Fleet Week.

Imagine having a blade in your hand in front of the mirror while staring into the vacant eyes of the junkie whose addiction created this affliction, what would you do? Sure explains the stubble doesn't it? I know! We could start our own fan group, and get everybody to 'like' us! We'll call it "Save the Earth! (for Dessert)" Bet we could get a bajillion hits by lunchtime and still change nothing (if we're not willing to change ourselves).

I'd offer to be the first (to sign, not to change) but I'm booked solid right now with my day job. You see, I lay traps for troubadours who get killed before they reach Bombay. Business is booming.
-bill kenny