When I was a wee slip of a lad, I was an omnivore (and more). Food pyramids, suggested serving sizes...pish posh!
In my prime, they couldn't make junk food fast enough; that's how quickly I consumed (more like inhaled) it. But here in the Air Age of the Twenty-First Century, with macros and glutens and biomes, as Dylan once rasped, 'the times they are a'changin'.' And then we wonder why so many of us need a forklift to get up the stairs.
For decades, the best part of eating Doritos was ending up with orange-colored fingers (how many would you have to eat to be totally orange? Send your best guesstimate to 'Donny the Fat Boy,' c/o The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C., 20500). That's why Gawd invented Wet Wipes, and if not, He should have because they work great.
But, news headlines lead me to believe those days might be over. Cheetos and Doritos Go Naked with New Products Free of Artificial Colors and Flavors. You may have to hurry as I suspect the vending machines at the cannabis dispensaries are already sold out.
-bill kenny
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