Today is the "Fastest Two Minutes in the Whole Dam World or Something Like It." It's Kentucky Derby Day, the Race for the Roses, and a hundred cliches that those who follow the Sport of Kings (and I wasn't sure what they meant for quite some time about that growing up) take as seriously as those who follow the World Series, the Super Bowl or the Stanley Cup take their sports.
The difference is you don't get to ride a teammate around a track in anything resembling a counter-clockwise direction (I think; and do they change directions in Australia for obvious reasons?) which is too bad because I imagine a placekicker riding around on a linebacker would be quite a striking visual.
Did you know it's harder to qualify to ride in the Derby than to become a NASA astronaut? Seriously. Would I lie to you?
All I know about the event today is what Dr. Hunter S. Thompson wrote in 1970 when I was barely eighteen. It tore my mind in two; your turn. And, you're welcome.
-bill kenny
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