When I was a wee slip of a lad, my Mom's Mom gifted me a cocker spaniel, Sandy. As I recall Mom's telling of the story, the first thing Sandy did after being freed from the travel cage at our house in Belford, New Jersey, was bite me on the arm. She told me I then punched the dog in the face.
Served me right, I suspect; I should have worn my leberwurst aftershave. Dogs love that kind of thoughtfulness. As you've probably guessed, I'm not a fan, though I'm the outlier in my family, as I'm pretty sure my five siblings all have dogs and cats, at least one or more of either or both.
Our two children have four-legged (and two-finned in one instance) friends. As my Evil Twin Skippy knows all too well, I and the Animal Kingdom have agreed to see other people. I steer clear of folks who call their pets 'my children.'
Which brings me to Lauren Ann Lombardi of Seattle, Washington, who has a hurt in her heart that, I suspect, only a large dollar settlement could possibly fix. While in the United States Air Force, we (both non-flight line as well as ops folks) referred to overhead jet fighters as 'the sound of freedom.' Turns out other descriptives also apply.
According to the Stripes' news account, it would appear her attorney may have minored in creative writing or been a contributor to Readers' Digest, "Towards More Pictureseque Speech," with phrases like "auditory carpet bombing' and "state-sanctioned acoustic torture." There's some anatomy as well as biology thrown in with "primitive limbic system."
My heart bled peanut butter and jelly, especially over her passionate invocation of (her interpretation) of freedom of speech as outlined in the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights, though I suspect both George Mason and James Madison might arch an eyebrow at freedom to type expletives on someone else's Instagram account. Sadly, both are deceased and unavailable for comment, though I'm unclear if the Blue Angels bear any culpability for their demise.
And how can you not root for her as she channels her inner Mother Theresa? Or admire the steadfastness of her attorney, who is pressing on despite some who might find all of this litigation humorous, frivolous, or, in my case, pointless, "I don't care about the opinions of ignorant people." Now, that's some freedom of speech.
Ouch! It seems my feelings are hurt. Who can I sue?
-bill kenny
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